Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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