I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
