Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
