If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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