I feel great
I just peed on a car
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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