A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
