It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
