just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
So squirting runs in the family.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
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