I wish i was in the wii world.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
