So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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