I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
