don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
