Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
