i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
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