I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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