we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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