So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
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