"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Randomize
