whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
