Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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