My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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