i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I would ride that face into the sunset
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
