Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Randomize
