I faked an abortion last night.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
