you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
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