it wasn't lemon gatorade
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
