i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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