She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
