just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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