and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
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