i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
