Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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