Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Randomize
