Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
We're too hungover to prance.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
