How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
