OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
