this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
3 2 1 whiskey
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Randomize
