omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
