so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
