god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I could make wine with my vomit
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize