I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
