The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
