Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
