Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
