This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
