do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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