she was so not down for the gang bang
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
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