AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
