Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
