Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
