So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Randomize
