First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
