Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
he just fucked me for my cheese..
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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