i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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